Before (left) 297 pounds... After (right) 145... Total weight loss is 152 pounds.
I was so tired of being in my own skin. I was tired of settling for what I thought I deserved from life and not what I really DID deserve. I made the decision to do it. In the beginning, I set a number... a goal I wanted to reach. And over time I have now realized that that was not necessarily the best choice, but I was never really told otherwise. I just wanted to be less than 200 pounds but I thought being 175 was a great goal... it was so out of my reach at that time that I was setting myself up to fail, but... I didn't know that. I just set my sights on the 175 and began eating the cereal "Special K" for breakfast and dinner. I would have one serving of the cereal and 1% milk (because at that time I had yet to ever discover eating clean). I would keep a note book and count my calories down to the gum I was chewing. I stopped drinking soda completely. Unfortunately at the time that I had decided to do all of this, it wasn't necessarily for me. It was because I knew I was not desirable to anybody but my dearest friends. I had the worst self esteem I had ever had and I knew that in order to change how I felt about myself, I had to lose the weight.
One of my dearest friends, Jennifer, knew my desires for the weight loss and self esteem. She encouraged me to get moving and make a change. I agreed and at that point began going to her house after work with her and walking. That walk eventually led to a fat girl trot, which then led to a quicker jog. As time went on, I started to see a change. I was starting to drop the weight and the scale needle was finally going the opposite direction for once. I remember the first time I had lost 6 pounds in one week. I was so proud of myself. It encouraged me to continue. There were weeks of gains, weeks of minimal losses and weeks of great losses.
A year came and went. I had gotten down to 185 pounds. It was a reasonable weight and I decided to just settle for that. I was tall.. 'big boned' as I was always called. It was okay... but it isn't what I wanted. I started my path on taking care of another person and lost focus of taking care of me and my goals. 185 slipped away... I climbed back up to 215 pounds and was still unhappy, rejected and a horrible self esteem. It was time... time for a permanent change.
A few months later a "Biggest Loser" competition emerged within one of the departments at my workplace. It was a personal challenge between co-workers and the buy in was $50 each. I was asked if I would like to participate. I agreed and paid my dues. The odds were stacked against me... I was the one they all doubted. The one that had given up so many times that they knew I would give up this time too. I dedicated my free time and energy to it. I knew I had to do it, but I knew that using a calorie counting tablet and restricting myself of food and calories would only sabotage what I was after. I sought out the help of a few friends of mine that knew a thing or two about dieting the proper way. The way that would stick. Basing my caloric intake on the glycemic index (see post about the glycemic index). At that time, I had no idea what that meant, but I went with it. It worked.
I had purchased "The Firm" about a year prior (hadn't opened it) and decided it was time. I started going through a schedule of videos... and by the end of the 12 weeks of the competition, I had lost 33 pounds. I won the competition. I could have very well stopped there and had the attitude of "Well, I won.. so I'm good". But I had already made the decision that I was going to be happy... that I was going to be comfortable in my own skin. So, I kept going. I mastered three of the Jillian Michael's Videos, could probably do them in my sleep. I moved on to Insanity (a Beachbody video) and finished that and started it over. Now I'm lifting and following ChaLean Johnson on her ChaLean Exteme....
Life is what you make of it... you're the builder of your own future...
