Motivation. It's in YOU.

At times, I'm asked "how do you stay motivated??".  Well, considering where I started, it's easy at this point to stay motivated, knowing where I could end up once again.

Years ago, when I began this wonderful life journey, the motivation didn't come so easily.  I had to set my mind to it on a daily basis.  I had to pump myself up or talk myself into it.  I had plenty of hard days but knew that the outcome is what I was after.  When I began to see that scale needle start to point the opposite direction, I started to find that inner excitement that I had been lacking for so long.  When my clothing started to fit more loose and look really baggy on me, I knew that the work that I had been putting in wasn't a waste like I may have thought at times that it was.

I would sleep better, my neck and posture started to feel better.  I could finally start to look at myself in the mirror.  Yes, there was a period of probably 7 or more years that I refused to look at myself in the mirror unless I was putting mascara on.  I had become so ashamed of myself that I couldn't even lay eyes upon myself.  That alone was enough to motivate me.  I look back and realize that there were times that I would go into a public restroom and would go to wash my hands and see the 'beautiful' girl in there adjusting her clothing or hair... touching up her make up or making sure she didn't have that shine on her nose.  I remember thinking to myself  "I'll hurry up so that I don't disrupt her and make her think that I'm not worthy of using a public mirror to check my hair..." and I would hurry and wash my hands, not even making eye contact with her... much less myself and then promptly leave.  My self esteem had gotten to that point.  Defining my worth in somebody else's eyes.  When in reality, she probably could have cared less that I was even standing next to her.  I can laugh at it now because of how ridiculous it sounds, but that's how bad I felt about myself.

So what motivates me?  I do.  I am a completely different person than that shameful girl that wouldn't be caught in public looking at herself in the mirror.  I know that I'm worth more to ME than that.  It took a lot of soul searching and filtering of 'bad' and 'negative' influences in my life... but the fact that I continue to become a better person was enough for me to keep going.  Of course the massive amounts of health benefits on top of that, that I have now gained from the exercise and healthy eating habits are endless.  I've added so many years on to my life now and can't wait for my future...